Many times I'd look far away and you'd ask me what I am thinking about or what is going on in my mind. You wanna know what? I want to know if I am happy.
Yes, I am in love. I am happy we will be together. I am happy that it is sooner than we both planned it or hope it would be. But most of the time, I am not. I don't think I am a bad person. I never want to hurt anyone in my life and when I do things, I always want it to be beneficial to everyone...a win-win decision. You hate people who look down and step on me but let me tell you that the worst I had are always from you.
You always find fault in me. You wait for the exact moment I make a mistake and it's like waiting for you to say, "There! That's a clear mistake, you f*ucked up!" I never want you to do that to me in front of my friends, your friends, my family, your family and most specially, in front of our kids.
I am torn. As much as I love you and vowed never to leave you, I don't know if I will ever be happy. Happiness goes only to the extent that we're together, will make a family together, grow old together BUT I don't think there's anything more. The more I think about it, the more I know I'd lose all my self respect. I will feel more like trash. I will just be good to you when you feel good, when you have a good day but other than that, I can see you shouting at me all the time, I can see you giving me the eye.
You hurt me more than any person I know. Not physically but when it's emotionally, it is even worse. You're wicked. You are a monster. This is how I feel. I've seen a lot of fighting couples, I've seen a lot of women pulling tantrums all the time, grumpy all the time, but I have never seen the guys hurt them like you do to me.
I will never be your partner, not ever. I don't think you love me enough to give me that position. I will just be the woman you picked up to be someone you can always order around. Our culture taught us humility. When you do something for someone, you don't expect a return. When you get it, you appreciate it. You don't look someone in the eye then tell that person, "I did this for you, now you must to this for me. I sacrifice this for you, now be my slave."
Yes, I am in love. I am happy we will be together. I am happy that it is sooner than we both planned it or hope it would be. But most of the time, I am not. I don't think I am a bad person. I never want to hurt anyone in my life and when I do things, I always want it to be beneficial to everyone...a win-win decision. You hate people who look down and step on me but let me tell you that the worst I had are always from you.
You always find fault in me. You wait for the exact moment I make a mistake and it's like waiting for you to say, "There! That's a clear mistake, you f*ucked up!" I never want you to do that to me in front of my friends, your friends, my family, your family and most specially, in front of our kids.
I am torn. As much as I love you and vowed never to leave you, I don't know if I will ever be happy. Happiness goes only to the extent that we're together, will make a family together, grow old together BUT I don't think there's anything more. The more I think about it, the more I know I'd lose all my self respect. I will feel more like trash. I will just be good to you when you feel good, when you have a good day but other than that, I can see you shouting at me all the time, I can see you giving me the eye.
You hurt me more than any person I know. Not physically but when it's emotionally, it is even worse. You're wicked. You are a monster. This is how I feel. I've seen a lot of fighting couples, I've seen a lot of women pulling tantrums all the time, grumpy all the time, but I have never seen the guys hurt them like you do to me.
I will never be your partner, not ever. I don't think you love me enough to give me that position. I will just be the woman you picked up to be someone you can always order around. Our culture taught us humility. When you do something for someone, you don't expect a return. When you get it, you appreciate it. You don't look someone in the eye then tell that person, "I did this for you, now you must to this for me. I sacrifice this for you, now be my slave."
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